I`am a forty year old divorced woman. I have two teenaged children. What sort of problems will I face because of my divorce? - Selvi from Red hills
Divorce brings in many problems into your life. Most of you think that divorce will end all your problems. It might end the problems you had with your husband. But, you will face another kind of problem. In your case, it will be your children.
Generally, teenage children are very tough to handle. And your children have undergone the trauma of a broken family. Dont think it is easy for them. You never really know the mental agony your children are facing. They might have loved your husband very much.
He is after all their father, isnt he?
Your children struggle to accept the fact that they have to live away from him. They will definitely feel that you could have adjusted with your husband so that your divorce could not have happened. You have to handle your children very sensitively.
If you are very preachy with them, they will never listen to you. If you are too strict with them, they will revolt by disobeying you.
If you dont spend quality time with them, they will feel lost and keep thinking of their father.
You have to very loving towards your children. You have to clarify their doubts about your divorce. Dont poison their tender mind against their father. They will be all confused.
Be friendly with your children so that they feel easy to share their all feelings with you. You should be very judicious about the money you spend. You cannot spend too much and ruin your financial future. The worst disaster you can face is the dependency on your children for money as they grow up. Your self-esteem will be thrashed if you do so. Save money for your own future. You need it drastically.
Dont remarry in a hurry. It will make your children feel that you are selfish and self-centered. You have the dual role of a father and mother to play. Though it is tough, it is not impossible.