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Are you married to a pessimistic spouse?


Posted on : 04/Apr/2018 12:31:10

Relationship Tips by Mathi Surendran        Know more about Mathi Surendran
My husband makes me feel nervous by talking negatively about our family problems Selvi, my cousin told me with regret.

He says our problems will never end. When I pacify him that we will get over our problems, he yells at me that I am fantasying about a rosy life which will never come to us she sighed with frustration.

I could only pity my cousin. I knew her husband was a very pessimistic person. Andit is terrible to be married to a person who sees life in a very negative light.  

What are the characteristics of a pessimistic and gloomy spouse?

  1. Your pessimistic spouse never smiles.
  2. He\she does not give you emotional support.
  3. He\she lets you handle all the family problems without feeling it is also his\her duty.
  4. Your spouse is not responsible. 
  5. He\she is very selfish and self-centered.
  6. He\she always cribs and whines about non-existent familyproblems.
  7. He\she always sees things from his\her viewpoint.
  8. Your negative spouse has tremendous mood swings. 
  9. He\she is often dull and boring.
  10. He\she has tons of inferiority complex.

Phew! Your marriage is very tough indeed. Your pessimistic spouse makes your relationship boring and dull by being gloomy and depressive. You do not feel like interacting with your spouse, as he\she does not have anything positive to talk about.

When your spouse is not confident and assertive, you find it near impossible to handle your never-ending family issues on your own. Your married life is a nightmare as you have to battle with his\her complex characteristics, 24\7. You literally buckle under the pressure of living with such a pessimistic spouse, dont you? But, you have to be courageous and brave. 

You should know the tricks to handle the tremendous mood swings of your pessimistic spouse with guts. And here are the tricks. Be confident and assertive. Never submit to the emotional blackmail of your negative spouse.

Dont mother him\her. He\she is a grown-up adult and should be able to handle his\her life. Allocate family responsibilities to him\her. Your family is his\her family also, isnt it?
Keep aloof when your pessimistic spouse tries to be difficult. Let him\her handle his\her gloomy feelings alone. But, never indulge in unnecessary fights with him\her. It makes him\her even more pessimistic. 

Never make your depressive spouse feel unloved and insulted. It is really sad that your pessimistic spouse makes it very difficult for you to lead a happy married life. You have to be very patient and understanding to live with the pessimism of your spouse. Dont expect magical changes from him\her as it might take years before you see any positive changes in him\her.
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